Slow Motion Not So Instant Replay – Oct. 24 Early Edition

Is that a long carom in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

The old cherry pick behind the net trick. They never see it coming!

Every Sunday night / Monday morning The Jumbotron will present you with “Slow Motion Not So Instant Replay” to provide general NHL information and hilarity from the week, so that you can stave off as much work as possible on a Monday.

Yes, I know how to use a calendar and understand the days of the week, but I won’t be around much this weekend so you get your Slow Motion Not So Instant Replay on Friday. Everyone wants to do the same amount of work on a Friday as a Monday so it all works out. As always, there is plenty of other hockey news and hiliarty out there, but this is what I thought was interesting. If you don’t like it go read one of these other blogs I linked to. I’m still a little angry about the Bruins losing to the Maple Leafs, so let’s have some fun with the links.

  • The weekly Versus drinking game. One of them is about the terrible Atlanta Thrasher’s attendance. Tune in for a thrashing good time. Is there something subtlety racist about a Thrasher or is it just me? [Barry Melrose Rocks]
  • The KHL doesn’t have nearly as much money as you thought they did. I know no one thought they had a lot of money, but they have even less than that. How do you think Ray Emery likes getting paid in bathtub vodka? [FAUX Rumors]
  • As I mentioned earlier this week, the all mighty James Mirtle has closed up shop and now heads up From The Rink, so let’s check out some links there, shall we?
  • Teen-age sensations in the NHL. I bet there is enough Simple Plan and Yellowcard on those twenty Ipods alone to feed a country in a Rawanda until the end of time. [From The Rink]
  • You can either have this wonderful brand new 2008-2009 San Jose Sharks home jersey or what’s in the box. I’ll take the box! THE BOX! [From The Rink]
  • The NHL has all 30 teams playing on Saturday. God, Sunday is going to be boring, thankfully I’ll be at the Patriots game. Sean Leahy has some tips to help get you through the day. [Going Five Hole]
  • Interview with Joe Gabor the Director of NHL Network Canada. [Going Five Hole]
  • I made fun of Patrick Kane for being a little girl last week. Well, he’s still a little girl and here’s the video to prove it. [Hockey Dump]
  • Oren Koules is shooting Saw VI as we speak. The plot involves Barry Melrose and a bunch of defenseless underage kids lost in the city of Tampa Bay. Koules is waiting to see how long it is before Barry Melrose hangs himself. [Icethetics]
  • I may not be doing so hot over at the Illegal Curve handicapping challenge, but here’s a good breakdown of how to approach some of the games. [Illegal Curve]
  • Looking at three rule changes during the GM meetings this week. I’m not a fan of any of them, but then again I’m also not a GM, so my opinion doesn’t count. [ESPN via Kuklas Korner]
  • Gary Bettman? On the radio? Geesh, that sounds awkward. [Melt Your Face Off]
  • The Douche War continues. Are there going to be playoffs, because Ty Conklin against Michael “Bleach” Ryder would be epic. [Melt Your Face Off]
  • “Breakfast, shmreakfast. Look at the score, for Christ’s sake. It’s only the second period and I’m up 12 to 2. Breakfasts come and go, Rene, but Hartford, “the Whale,” they only beat Vancouver once, maybe twice in e a lifetime.” Kevin Smith talks hockey. [Puck Daddy]
  • I’d rather see a huge clean hit then a fight. If you wanna skate with your head down, you’re going to get destroyed. Just ask R.J. Umburger. [Jasper’s Rink]
  • The ensuing 9 minute power play. More like powerless play. See, what I did there? [Puck Daddy]
  • My milkshake brings all the Torrey Mitchell’s to the rink. [Puck Daddy]
  • Marain Gaborik is always late for games because the Zamboni only goes 4mph. Also, it needs a seat belt, he keeps falling off it and hurting himself. [Puck Update]
  • Alexei Cherepanov’s last blog entry. [Covered in Oil]
  • The Edmonton Oilers respond to the whole Covered in Oil fiasco. [Edmonton Journal via Puck Daddy]
  • “This is dildos” [With Leather]

Things I don’t give a shit about this week and you can look up yourself:
1. A second team in Toronto. That would be like having a second dick, fun at first, but then it would just get fucking annoying.
2. Sarah Palin dropping the puck in St. Louis. Do hockey fans even vote if Rory Fitzpatrick isn’t running?
3. Fuck Mats.

and your happy note:
John Wensink would punch your fucking face in.

-John

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